The McKeys To My Heart

Last Thursday I had the three children of a longstanding friend who had died twenty years ago, Desmond McKey, to lunch along with David Hudd. They are Vincent, Jennifer and Caroline.

Desmond had been the main principal of Arthur G Mead of Fitzrovia, chartered accountants with a huge practice. Vincent is still working for Arthur G Mead and Caroline is largely retired. She is intellectually no slouch having come top of the ACMA finals - some 7,000 examinees. The McKeys are numerate.

Desmond was one of the heaviest gamblers London has ever seen. He had a terrific run about thirty-five years ago which left him £800,000 ahead on the year. However, it has to be added that he lost the lot the following week. Pat Densham, boss of Sunderlands, was asked how Desmond had started the day in the Sunderlands box at Ascot and mentioned that £5,000 was Desmond's loss on the first race. "But," he added "he is just pissing about so far." The next race saw Desmond get £50,000 home first at 5/4. I do not know what happened after that.

But around that time Desmond and Chris Cronin, an Irish pal of many years, stepped in again at Ascot. This time they scooped a two foot pile of bank notes. They stuck this in the boot of Desmond's Roller and instructed the driver to return to London. As they hit the outskirts they decided to stop off and collect some tubs of chicken nuggets. They were only away from the car for a few minutes but stepped out to find that the Roller had been stolen - apparently the driver had left the engine running. It was found in Hampstead a couple of days later. But the police could not open the boot and feared to do so since they were concerned that they might have been set up (though for what or how I have no idea). So there was a further delay after which it was established that the dough was intact. Apparently the only means of opening the boot was by twiddling a toggle under the driver's panel. Vincent still owns and drives the Roller.

Finally, I learnt that all the major London casinos have closed down since they are supposed to check customers' bank statements for evidence of money-laundering. This causes a couple of days or so delay by which time the Sheikh in question has departed to less lunatic jurisdictions.